More focus needed on marriage preparation

The annual Episcopal Regional Commission for Family, Laity and Life (ERCFLL) meeting was held April 22 – 25 in Domus St Anne, hosted by Penang Diocese. A total of 35 delegates from Malaysia, Brunei and Singapore were present. Each delegation comprised a priest and a couple.

Archbishop John Wong, Archbishop of Kota Kinabalu and the president of the commission, in his welcome address on the morning of April 23, thanked the delegates for participating in this commission. He urged the delegates to open their hearts and spread the feeling of love of the family and laity. In this season of Easter, he stressed that the commission helps sustain the basic cell of the family and journeys together with the aim of building the Kingdom of God.

Commission Secretary Neil Mah from Kota Kinabalu reported that the commission will add in the word ‘Laity’ to its logo since the laity will encompass the people of faith in the community and, therefore, better explains the work of the commission.

The proceedings for April 22 focused on reports of the activities and programmes of the preceding year from May 2017 until April 2018. Most Arch/Dioceses worked hard to bring awareness of Amoris Laetitia, our Holy Father’s Apostolic Exhortation of 2016, to the parishioners.

Programmes discussed and deliberated on included the Retrouvaille Weekend — A Marriage Lifeline that has just had its inaugural weekend in Kuala Lumpur, organised by the Archdiocese of Kuala Lumpur. Another programme that was discussed was the inaugural Catholic Singles Dating Hub by the Penang Diocese. Many expressed their desire to have these two programmes introduced in their Dioceses.

Also reported were the Men’s Seminar: The Courageous Man specifically for men, Marital First Responders Workshop, Marriage Discernment Weekend, HLS Family programme, Marriage Enrichment Experience, Rosary Rally and Reconciliation, Pastoral Care-From Womb to Tomb, Renewal of Marriage Vows, Promoting God’s Plan for the Family, Being Authentic Gifts (BAGS), Launch of Courage & Encourage, Catholic Divorce Survival Guide Programme and a Family Prayer Packet.

It was a common consensus that, in the light of the number of marriages breaking down, proper Marriage preparation is of paramount importance. Although the modus operandi for the preparation for marriages varies, the delegates agreed that, sometimes, the time allocated for marriage preparation is short. Some cited that it takes nine years to prepare for priesthood and, in contrast, marriage preparation takes seven weeks and, sometimes, only a weekend. Therefore, it is encouraged that after the Marriage Preparation programme is over, there must be mentoring of these young couples by either those preparing them or by senior married couples. In the Archdiocese of Kuching, this is already compulsory.

On April 24, a talk “Understanding the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) community” was presented by Bryan Crucis Shen, a former Singapore Air force pilot and now an accomplished Independent Lay Missionary. Commission members were taught the correct terms and terminology used in relation to LGBT. Bryan explained that gender identity development is influenced by the interactions and the environment in the family. Sometimes the conditions in the home, parental and sibling involvement factors, contribute to same sex attraction (SSA). He also explained the difference between being Gay and SSA. When an individual proclaims that he or she is gay, then it is very possible that this person may be in a same sex relationship. However, if a person has SSA, and is not in a same sexual relationship, then it is possible to help this person by personal counselling. Members were taught awareness of the issues impacting the family unit and the Church in relation to the onslaught of LGBT social challenge.

In the evening, the delegates visited Penang Island.

On the last day, Neil asked for suggestions on the theme for the conference next year. The proposals will be given to Archbishop John to decide.

The next ERCFLL meeting will be held in Kuching, Sarawak.

Article reproduced from Herald Malaysia online