The Five Languages of Love

In an age where mobile devices and social media sites reign supreme over ‘mundane,’ old-fashioned talking, the ability to create and foster bonds with loved ones is increasingly challenging. This is in contrast with the teachings of the Catholic faith, as the Lord calls us to be a community, a church, to be His witnesses to the ends of the earth.

The recently revamped Family Life Ministry of St Joseph’s Church organised a one-day session on Saturday May 26, for married couples and single adults to understand The Five Languages of Love developed by Dr Gary Chapman.

The Family Life Ministry Team from the Church of the Assumption consisting of Allan and Angeline Lee, Basil and Martina D’Rozario, Josephine Fonseka, led by Joe and Anita Pragasam who are also the Chair Couple for the Archdiocesan Family Life Commission, presented the five components of the Languages of Love.

During the weeks leading up to the event, the St Joseph Family Life Ministry core team, led by Michael and Shelly Gomes, got to work on promoting and inviting parishioners for the session. The one question that was constantly asked was, “What do you mean by ‘Languages of Love’?” Yes, love has a language of ways to convey loving messages to our loved ones. They are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts and Quality Time.

The session kicked off with an Introduction and a Self-Evaluation questionnaire that gave participants an indication of their own primary Language of Love.

Whilst it is good to recognise your own Love Language, it is more important to learn the Love Language of your loved one i.e. your spouse, your son or daughter, your mother or your father and your friends. Knowing the love language of your loved one helps you to understand them better. For example, if you know that Quality Time is the Love Language of your son or daughter, then you will be able to take the necessary steps to spend time with them and show them that they are loved. While love languages cannot fix every relationship, the concept goes a long way in improving communication, which is a vital part of any relationship.

Even those who are single can benefit from understanding the Languages of Love. For instance, a young man whose Love Language is Physical Touch grew up thinking his mother did not love him because he was never hugged as he was growing up. Learning about the 5 Love Languages made him realise that his mother’s Love Language is Acts of Service.

He recalled how hard she worked to put food on the table and provide a comfortable home. This made him aware that his mother really loved him very much, but she simply wasn’t speaking his Love Language.

The Assumption Family Life Team shared their stories and experiences in learning the need and importance of these 5

Love Languages, and how it has changed them for the better. The awareness of the Love Language spoken by the ones they love has deepened their relationship.

Group discussions were held to encourage participants to get a glimpse into each other’s Language of Love. Many were enlightened with the information they obtained from the presenting team and from each other, as they realised that every individual is conditioned differently and that we all express and feel love differently. Understanding those differences can enrich and help our relationship. In fact, it’s one of the simplest ways to improve it.

Article reproduced from Herald Malaysia online