At the age of 12, Martinian Lee wrote in an essay that his ambition was to be a priest. Little did he know, that 25 years later, he would achieve his ambition.
“I was very young and immature then, and so I didn’t really fully understand what the priesthood is,” he said.
As he entered into adulthood, Lee wanted to fall in love, get married and have children with a good career and enjoy the ‘good life’ but there was a restlessness in his heart.
“I felt something wasn’t right. A feeling deep within me was trying to tell me that marriage was not for me. I was in denial, of course, but God was very gentle in his approach and never gave up on me.”
It was fear that kept Lee from saying ‘yes’ to God. Fear of not being able to live a celibate life. Fear of being lonely.
“Somehow, I realised that being controlled by fear is really no fun.My life was not giving glory to God because I wasn’t living out God’s will for me. I was missing true joy and freedom.
“After many years, I realised that God wouldn’t leave me alone. I was tired of running away from him and so I decided to say yes to God. Immediately, I felt a sense of peace and calmness in my heart. I had a sense of joy and freedom that I had never experienced before. Fear suddenly did not have a grip on me anymore. I felt like I could fly. That’s when I knew that God was truly calling me to the priesthood,” he said.
Being a cradle Catholic and the youngest in a family of three, Lee was very involved in his home parish, St Theresa’s Church, Melaka, from a very young age.
“I learnt so much from serving in church as a teenager, such as self-confidence, public speaking, punctuality, responsibility, respect, and camaraderie among the community. I know at times, I spent more time in church than at home but my parents didn’t mind because they were very active in church too. The community in church, in a way, planted the seed of the priesthood in me,” he said.
Although very active in church, Lee did not have a personal relationship with Jesus. However, he slowly learned about Jesus through the relationship he built within the community.
“I always thought the more I did in church meant the more Catholic I was. But as I grew older, I realised I knew very little about my faith. My relationship with Jesus needed to go beyond just doing. I needed to befriend the Bible. I needed a prayer life,” he said.
Before joining the priesthood, Lee described his family as his first ‘seminary’ as he was surrounded by many role models at home.
“They taught me how to love Jesus by showing me how to love and treat people. My family showed me great leadership qualities by serving others. My dad is a great role model. He was teaching Catechism long before I was born. My dad has this tremendous love and connection with God. He is truly an inspiration to me,” he said.
The turning point came when Lee had a meeting with Bishop Emeritus Paul Tan SJ who asked Lee to give up his life and serve God as a priest. I replied that I was not ‘holy’ enough and that made me unworthy to be a priest.
“I told him that I had a girlfriend and wanted to get married and would love to have children of my own.
To which he replied, ‘That’s great! It means you understand what love is and we want priests that understand the meaning of love.’ He then continued, ‘You must take the leap of faith. This means that in front of you is a deep and dark hole and you are to jump into that hole but trusting that God will catch you safely in his arms.’ That conversation moved me to tears. I knew then that this was God’s will and I was humbled,” he said.
To Lee, giving up married life was a gift to God and not a sacrifice, as it was the best gift anyone could give to the person you love the most.
“We should always give the best to God. In truth, it isn’t me that is doing God a favour. It is God that is blessing me abundantly when he called me,” he said.
Lee spent his initiation year in St Peter’s College Minor Seminary Kota Kinabalu, Sabah and then continued to St Peter’s College Major Seminary Kuching, Sarawak from 2012-2017.
“In the beginning, I would miss my family but, over the years, seminary life became a norm and Kuching became a second home to me. There were challenging times but never any moment of regret or despair,” he said.
Among the surreal, happy and emotional feelings that Lee had leading up to his ordination, he said he would love to bring people to experience who Jesus is.
“I wrote a prayer on my ordination prayer card entitled, The Gaze of Christ, which sums up my theme:
Love where there is no love. It is easy to love when you are loved but Jesus calls us to love when you have no love shown to you. This is needed, especially in this world today,” he said.
Lee’s message to the young people out there is that the priesthood is not boring. To him it is more like an adventure and worth all the struggles.
“No matter what, God loves you for youself and therefore you must love yourself, only then can you love others,” he said.–By Lavinia Louis
If God calls, he will make a way
Fr Paul Sia is the second among six boys and two girls. Born on August 10, 1956, he studied at Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus in Melaka whilst his secondary years were spent at St Francis Institution. He worked in Malaysia Airlines System in Customer Service Division, Operations Division and Human Resource Division.
Fr Sia was accepted into the Pontifical Beda College in September 2015. He was ordained a deacon at St Paul’s Basilica in June 2017, and completed his studies in June 2018. While studying in Rome, he had the opportunity to serve during the Bishops’ Ad Limina visit in 2018 and met the Pope.
For him, to be a diocesan priest is to be “attached to the parishioners for at least five years where I can ‘LABOUR, SEEK, HEAL, SET-FREE’ 2 Cor 9:7b (this is also my motto). I also follow the adage,‘… God loves a cheerful giver’.”
“I have a bad habit of not answering calls after 10.00pm and it was on March 23, 2014 that I made an exception. The call was from Bishop Paul Tan who gave me the good news — Pontifical Beda College had accepted me as a seminarian.
“My desire to join the seminary for priesthood goes back to 1975 when Fr Francis Ng CDD, a newly ordained priest, took charge of the Church of Saint Ignatius, Sungei Way from Fr Sullivan, a Jesuit priest.
“I attended the St Ignatius Church (SIC) because it was the only church I knew since coming to Petaling Jaya in 1974. The added advantage was that Fr Ng hails from Ayer Salak, Malacca; the same village where I came from. He was the priest that encouraged me to pursue my desire. He gave me much insight about the CDD Fathers and the priesthood. When I told my parents and aunty of my intention of joining the priesthood, the reply was no. However, I did not give up on the idea. It was always in my mind.
“I attended the Life in the Spirit Seminar (LSS) in 1998 at Assumption Church at the invitation of a colleague (Vincent Nathan). It was during this LSS that the thought of the priesthood became serious.
This thought became more serious with my involvement in the Divine Mercy Devotion in Sabah. The LSS also made me realise that going for Sunday Mass is insufficient. As days passed, I became thirstier for the Word of God. I registered to attend a Bible course at the Archdiocesan Pastoral Institute (API), Kuala Lumpur. My involvement in the various ministries at St Ignatius Church grew, beginning with the Charismatic Prayer Group, to teaching in Sunday school, followed by RCIA, Divine Mercy Group and the Youth ministry. I also participated in retreats organised by the Maranatha Retreat House where I later became one of the team members.
“My involvement in the Divine Mercy Group brought me to Kota Kinabalu. I worked with Fr William Polis to promote the devotion to the Divine Mercy. It was one of Archbishop John Ha’s sermons at the Divine Mercy Congress that prompted me to share, for the first time, my thoughts about the priesthood, first with Fr William and then with Msgr Gilbert Engan.
“When I returned to Peninsular Malaysia, I served the students from Sabah and Sarawak. I then shared my desire with Frs Paulino Miranda and Simon Labrooy. Fr William Michael and Fr Paulino helped me in my discernment. After the death of my dad in 2010 and my aunt in 2012, I wrote officially to the Bishop of Keningau to join the priesthood (as I was mostly based in Sabah). However, my request was unsuccessful. Frs Paulino and Simon Labrooy advised me not to give up and to continue praying saying, ‘If God wants you, he will open another door for you’.
“Yes, God opened another door. SIC had their yearly Youth Rally (which I coordinated) at Kuala Kubu Bahru. There, I met Fr Eddie Rayappan (who was then the Vocation Director of MJD), Martin Jalleh and Benedict Lo. It was Jalleh who asked about my application and Fr Eddie took it from there. It was a great Christmas gift for me when I received a call from Bishop Paul Tan on December 22, 2013. That call was the beginning of my journey to Beda. Praise and Thanks to God.”–Fr Paul Sia
Always searching for love
“For I was never involved in church. I was only baptised when I was about 14 or 15,” said 42 year old Fr Alexuchelvam Mariasoosai. “I did not get involved in church until after an LSS just after Form 6. I then became very involved, first in the charismatic group in Assumption and then, slowly, with some of the youths in Assumption and with the choir at weekday Masses. I tried to go for whatever formation that was being offered in church then.
From my early 20s, others seemed to think that I had a calling to the priesthood! I never accepted their hints as I thought it was ridiculous. One priest challenged me and told me I was running away from my calling. I cried, honestly thinking that I had given my all to Christ and felt that my vocation was to take care of my parents.
One influential priest in my journey is Fr Simon Yong, SJ. It was probably because, for the first time, I was able to engage with a priest in a proper conversation. He was able to relate to me, even challenged me and spoke to me like a friend. He believed in my vocation to the priesthood when I had given up believing that I did have a vocation as there were too many obstacles.
The then Bishop Paul Tan invited me to stay in Majodi to further discern my call to the diocesan priesthood. That moment when Bishop Paul Tan met me, I remembered the Parable of the Workers in the vineyard. The landowner found people doing nothing at different hours and called them to work in his vineyard. I was one of those standing doing nothing. Bishop Paul was like the landowner asking some people at 5 in the evening, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’ and my answer seemingly corresponded to what the workers said to the landowner.. ‘Because no one has hired me’…. And he said, ‘You also go and work in the vineyard’…
I was then sent to Pontifical Beda College in Rome for four years. It was a beautiful experience for me. I felt that I found myself again, truly knowing better who I am and who God is to me. It was humbling to know that I am blessed by God who was, and still is, with me. I was already prepared by God to be away from my family members when I left my home and stayed on my own and so detachment was not an issue for me. Then my Dad passed away and I got my mom baptised.
My personal theme is taken from Psalm 63:3 for your love is better than life. It is because what I have chased after all my life is love, knowingly and unknowingly, and God found me and showed me true love; so, why should I settle for something lesser than God’s love? My answer to life would be that God’s love is better…and so it is God’s love that I want and that’s what I want to share and give to others here on earth.–Fr Alexuchelvam Mariasoosai
Article reproduced from Herald Malaysia online